Last week I was investigating how to display Arabic from right-to-left for a project I am working on. During my investigation, I found a dead link on the W3C page explaining the topic. As I scrolled to the bottom of the page, I noticed a "Leave a Comment" link. On a whim, I figured, "Why not?". As a developer, I appreciate it when someone gives me a heads-up on a dead link so that I can fix it. I don't know why, but I half-expected a mailto link to open up and that I would send an email out like a message in a bottle, never to hear back. I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted with a GitHub page prompting me to log in. (This is a reflection of my outdated ideas than on W3C processes)
To put this into perspective. My GitHub account tells me that I joined on 23 May, 2011. Up until last week it was a skeleton in my closet. I created it, and then never used it again. Even now, it is in the ICU. There are several reasons for this:
Never the less, I logged in with my dormant GitHub account and created an Issue. I can't recall ever having done this before. Usually, at this point, I don't proceed since I tend to think "They are probably already aware of it". Out of curiosity, I went ahead and logged the issue and thought nothing of it. Several minutes later, I got a response saying that a server at MIT (of all places) was down and that the problem would be recitifed shortly. This blew my mind!
Firstly, in my experience, people do not respond. They are busy, they are important, maybe they already know, maybe they don't care, maybe all of the above or none of the above. Secondly, I have a clear-cut case of impostor syndrome. My code smells. No-one is going to look at my work and marvel. Most of the time, I am trying to make deadlines as best I can with what I can. On the upside, I know I can do better. Every day, I get to work and I try do a little better.
From the early days when I first read about the W3C, web standards, CSS layouts and the people who were leading the so-called Web2.0 movement. These were visible people, connected in a group that through whatever avenue had established themselves in a meaningful way. They were pioneers, leaders in the field and clearly, way smarter than I would ever be. In my own way, as a coder not knowing his absolute from his relative positioning, I looked up to these people. I saw something I wanted to learn. Much in the way a kid might look up to someone they admire. You think, maybe one day I will be like them...
The reality is that you won't be like them.
Not if you don't ship. Not if you don't get better at the hard stuff. Not if you don't put your work out there for everyone to see. And even if you do, it might not happen. Deal with it. Keep coding, keep learning and keep shipping. We aren't all on that level. Not everyone is pro. Most people aren't even second-division or even third. To make matters worse, on top of the impostor, sits a thinker. I think way too much. Over think, under do has been my motto for a long time.
And that is what this hideous looking website is about. It is about putting work out there. As it is.